" I Never Take On Any Job I Can't Handle "

Ahhh, good old John McCain.  Where do I begin, the only candidate to be glorified with medals from the Vietnam war, WWII, WWI, and the Crimean War.  

When asked about his stance on the war his idea was clear:

"The United States should no longer act as the world's police but instead as the world's stripper, dressed as the police."

Serious questions arose after Senator McCain's embalming wraps came undone, leading to his double jowl extension surgury.  When asked where he would be if not running Senator McCaint curtly replied, "Dead."