They Call Me Lee Roy Jenkems...

I usually take my jenkem in the morning, let me tell you there isn't anything better than hitting that balloon in the morning, sitting back and watching the sunrise over a cup of grape juice.  I love getting "urinated" it makes me feel like I can do anything, I am a king of all men, not to sound brash, but I believe I found immortality, it's name is Jenkem.

First:

Take one bottle, glass is preferred, to adequately let the Jenkemites ferment.

The next step is to pee in the bottle....I know what your thinking, I'm gonna have to pinch it, or I am gonna fill up the whole bottle, and I hate pinching it...it stings.  There is an easy way to get around this pesky little problem.  You can either: 1) buy the big gatorade with Michael Jordan's hand on the side of it, or do as I do, and pee over the tub, or outdoors, so you can pull the bottle out of the stream to get just the right amount of pee, somewhere around 5 oz.  

Step 3, is to poop in the bottle, again, a tough task, much more difficult than any of the other steps.  The best way to do this, I found is to just poop into a plastic bag (much easier to center the butt-hole over), then use a $1 bill to grab it out.  I know, I know: "This was supposed to be a free high, what gives??"

Don't worry, if you think about how much a bag of Amsterdam's Finest, Cannabis Cup Winning Bud, a 22oz Bud Ice, or a bag of blow and a mail order bride cost.  You're getting out cheap.  Also, you can leave the dollar out on the sidewalk, and watch people get shit on their hands afterwards, a true jenkemeister past time.

After you poop in the bottle, put a balloon over the neck of the jar, and let it sit in the sun for a few days, it should look something like this:

After that, it's just a matter of watching your sun pee magically ferment.  The Jenkemites go to work, creating a delicious intoxicating gas known as Jenkem.  Breathe in and enjoy :)