At Least We're Better Than The Fucking Cubs.......

Fuck you Cole Hamels.  Now I truly know how big a douche you really are.  I hope you choke on a dick, and not the first one you suck, maybe like the 10th or 11th, so you aren't ready for it.  You figure "I've been sucking dicks all day now, you would think after the 10th one, not choking, his wish never came true.....slurp....Then BAM! Knockout Choke, eyes were shut before you even hit the mat.  Since you wanna talk shit, lets talk about how bad your team has sucked, you might be the worst team in baseball.

1.  The Rockies, Devil Rays, Padres, and Rangers all have lower winning %, but small sample sizes.  Rays(10), and Rockies(15), get tossed.  Padres (39), and Rangers(47) have been around longer but the Phillies at 147 are more than twice either of them.  Still their winning % isn't too far at .463 and .467, to the Phils .468.

2.  They are the lowest of the low. In seasons where at least 140 games were played 22 times a team has had a 100 loss season, 9 of those times it was Philly.  They also have 5 100 loss seasons for a grand total of 14.  The Cubs have only had 2.

3.  83-75 two playoff appearances, 92 opportunities, two partial successes.  2 championships 80, took em 97 years, and most recently which took them well over a quarter of a century.  They had a good stretch from 76-83 where they went to the playoffs 5 times and lost 3 straight NLCS from 76-78, choked 3 years in a row.  They had an 8 year stretch with Mike Schmitty where they made five post season appearances.  The other 116...They made 3.

4.  The overall record is the killer.  Phillies is lowest % of all original teams(.468).  Cubs(.536) just sit back and laugh.  Phillies have over 10,000 losses, Braves 9,681 and the Cubs 9,425.  It's gonna take the Braves over 20 years to catch them.

You guys are like that fuckin guy who always screws everything up, no mater how simple the task.  The kind of guy you never really want to hang around, but for some reason he always seems to know where everyone is going to be later in the evening.  The Kind of guy who doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, and has never been right about anything in his entire life, until one day, like a miracle from jebus the hand of god comes down and gives a gift to you, and you get something right.  And then you can't let it go.  Screaming at the top of your lungs until blood trickles out of your ears and down the side of you neck.  Eat it.  I lived with the fact that you guys won the world series.  But now....Fuck you.  You are a classless motherfucker.  Jesus who dresses Tim Tebow....  Anyway, I hope you catch a fuckin liner to the cunt you nutless wonder.  Get in  the fuckin octagon with Carlos (either one) and talk that shit you douche.

I'd be bitter too if my family and I had to watch this team for the last 100 years.  It's like watching a TV showing a live feed of your balls being cut with a straight razor.

Seriously? That's Fuckin' Ridiculous....

Fuck You

Fuck You

    You're Cool

I'm Out...

Lets go Voltron Force!

NEW YORK—Facing the Cubs in the midst of a three-game losing streak, the desperate Mets sprinted out to the field Tuesday, launched themselves high into the air above Shea Stadium, and combined their bodies to form a 400-foot tall fielding robot called Carlos Voltron.

According to eyewitnesses, before the Mets players completed the complicated procedure, in which they fused their physical selves and combined their talents to form the 20,000-ton robot, manager Jerry Manuel called the team to the dugout, where he commanded them to prepare their interlock systems for activation, connect the appropriate dyna-therms, charge up the infra-cells to full capacity, engage the mega-thrusters, and give it their best out there.

"After losing eight of our last 12 games, forming Carlos Voltron is our only hope to save our playoff chances," Manuel said. "We really need power this late in the season, and the 2.5 million pounds of thrust in Voltron's solid-fuel boosters should give us the lift we need."

Leaving behind blue and orange vapor trails as they soared across the sky, the Mets were reportedly surrounded by a crackling electrical field as they folded their limbs into their bodies to ready themselves for assembly and to protect the team's home record.

Although Manuel said he had to settle an argument over who got to be the robot's head, his final lineup was David Wright and José Reyes forming the legs, Ramón Castro and Ryan Church making the feet, Nick Evans and Johan Santana completing the arms, Carlos Delgado and Luis Castillo joining to create the torso, and Carlos Beltrán forming the head.

While Cubs batters had taken early advantage of the Mets pitchers on Monday, the towering spectacle of Carlos Voltron proved to be an imposing presence on the mound, as the force of his foot slamming into the ground after the windup of his first pitch knocked the batter and umpire into the third row of the stands. In addition, the seismic energy unleashed by Carlos Voltron's follow-through created several deep cracks in the foundation of Shea Stadium, and accompanying atmospheric disturbances caused a 747 in a holding pattern over nearby La Guardia airport to plunge from the sky.

"In the second inning I had to have him take some heat off those pitches or he was going to kill somebody," said Manuel, adding that he clocked the first pitch at 85,000 mph. "After what happened to poor Alfonso Soriano, I told him let them hit a few balls."

"We might face this team in the playoffs," continued Manuel. "I'd hate to see what would happen to us if the Cubs unleashed the Robeast from their bullpen."

With his fast first step and an exceptionally long stride that carries the giant robot from the mound to the center field wall in one step, Carlos Voltron put on an amazing fielding display in the fifth inning when he robbed Cubs third baseman Aramis Ramírez of a 500-foot shot by plucking it out of the air between the robotic index finger and thumb of his leonine hand.

Although the Mets' fielding skills were excellent, they were not without flaws. Cubs manager Lou Piniella came out to the field to protest several times, complaining that his base runners injured themselves in the 10-foot deep trenches left behind from Carlos Voltron scooping up ground balls. Piniella also expressed frustration over his players suffering from collapsed rib cages, ruptured organs, and decapitations every time Voltron tagged them out.

Carlos Voltron's solid and consistent defensive play was only upstaged in the fans' eyes by his powerful hitting, with those in attendance claiming they suffered bad sunburns from the glare caused by the robot forming his blazing bat. Stepping up to the plate, he made almost perfect contact with the first pitch, belting the ball out of Shea and into the next solar system.

"That big guy they have at the heart of their lineup really has potential," Piniella said. "Little stiff, needs to fix that stance some, and could probably use some work on the throwing mechanics, but really, you get the feeling he's going to be good."

"I wonder how long they have him signed for," added Piniella. "Might be a risk with him shutting down for 20 minutes after getting gravel from the warning track in his guidance apparatus. Ah, what am I thinking? We already have Kerry Wood. We don't need another robot."

Meanwhile, defending a comfortable 600-0 lead in the top of ninth, the Mets decided to rest up Carlos Voltron by moving him to the outfield and replacing him with reliever Aaron Heilman, who lost the lead and eventually the game after giving up 618 runs to close the inning.

You had me at Hello.....

Oh baby, I've just missed you so much.  How could I ever have left you, you were the only thing that was ever good for me.  Here I am running around checking out all my options, thinking I was going to miss out on something....Boy was I wrong....But you kept the fires burning for me while I was gone, growing and maturing into the beautiful thing you are now.  Your rolling curves and temptations have seduced me again, and your toughness will keep me coming back for more.  I love you.

He can't say his L's

Hilarity

Check out this video: korean baby singing hey jude



Add to My Profile | More Videos

You've Got the Touch!l

It always takes me too long to Blog, because now I have so much other shit to occupy my time, I always get sidetracked.  Take this for instance, instead of blogging last night I had a coworker of mine let his hair down, and we filmed a little music video.  

Instead of updating my blog, I've spent the past few nights watching the original animated Transformers Movie.  

It gets worse, today I got on Wiki. and followed the entire plot syn. of every episode after the movie, because I can't really remember those, I'm such a dork.

It's a Celebration Bitches!!

Happy 420 everybody!!, naturally this post is really late, as I have been significantly slowed by the mood of the day.  Everybody stay safe, and enjoy yourself.  Or should I say stayed safe, and enjoyed yourself.

In Honor of the man himself, a living testament, enjoy this too.

So What Am I So Afraid Of?

An otherwise routine set play involving a variation on the classic "pick" strategy transformed into a singularly unforgettable moment Sunday when Lakers center Pau Gasol interposed himself in order to stop the defensive pursuit of Spurs guard Tony Parker with body contact, but in the words of Parker himself "stopped my heart instead." "I came around the key to the baseline like it was any other day, but then there he was… First our hips met, then our eyes, and I was knocked off my feet—literally and figuratively," Parker told reporters afterward. "Time stopped forever for me at that moment, and I knew then that whatever happened in this crucial best-of-five series, one of the most crucial moments of my life had just happened. That now and forever, for me—for us—there would always be eight seconds left on the shot clock." Gasol refused to comment on the moment, telling reporters that "Parker and I will always have the Staples Center." :)

I Learned It From Watching You Bill!

I am officially disenfranchised with the political system as is the stats quo.  It literally makes me sick, all of these people are basically liars.  I mean, how can your version of the truth be so different than the TRUTH.  That's a lie, right.....has something changed in the last few years that I wasn't aware of.  If I told the police that I wasn't drinking, but they found out I was, can I say I "mis-spoke?"

You are a damn liar, your psychotic, doing what you did is unpatriotic.  There are soldiers fighting REAL wars, REALLY serving their country, that you disgraced with your forked tongue.  You wanted all of us to feel sorry for you, you went to Bosnia and ducked away from sniper fire, and incoming enemy bullets.  Bullshit, you were taking pictures, and smiling clutching your puppy faced offspring.

Then you send you daughter out campaigning to colleges and someone asks her a legitimate

question. She gets mad and refuses to answer it. I will, yes it was, you are a liar, your husband

is a liar, basically everyone around you, and involved in politics is a big fat liar.

You asked for it, now you have to produce, that was your job out there. It's my

business just as it's the business of every other American citizen, blow me, I want

some fucking answers. If I went to Wal-Mart and asked where the phillips head

screwdrivers are, and you tell me it's none of my business.....I'm talking to Glenda

the night manager and taking your MF blue vest. You are officially full of shit :)

I've decided the only good candidate for presidency has to have nothing to hide.

We should know everything about them, why not, they are leaders of the free

world right? Why can't we know? Can someone answer that question. Why is

there stuff that the general public can't know about the person who is running

the country, good and bad? We need to put a businessman in the oval office,

see how much smoother everything runs, make the country a little bit of money.

Recession sucks. And So does politics.

Bill Gates for President

Rejected Wii Games

These are Nintendo Wii games that never made it off the cutting room floor.  Due to popular demand though, these games might all soon be released by Nintendo for the Wii Console.  

No...You The Man

What? You crazy. Me? The man? Please. Everybody in town know who the man is—you the man! I ain't the man. No way. You got it all. And I mean all. Shit, I ain't got half what you got.

Yo, check this out—you smooth, man. Ain't nobody smoother than my boy Adrian. You make the smooth look like they ain't smooth at all. Now, that's smooth.

So tell me this: How can I be the man when you the man? 'Cause, you see, there can be only one man, and I ain't it.

The other day, some folks came up to me, and they was all up in my face and shit, tellin' me that I be the man. When they said that, I was like, "What? You buggin! I ain't the man! No way, no day. My boy Adrian, he the man."

After I tell 'em that, then they was all like, "Adrian? That crazy homeboy from down 115th Street way? You right, Darren—Adrian is the man!"

But still, y'all better keep your hands off my lady, or else you gonna be the man with two black eyes, motherfucker! Shit, man, I was just playin' with you. You know I think you the man.

You The Man

You the man, know what I'm sayin'? You theman! You it, baby. Ain't nobody else. Nobody.

Yo, how you do it, man? Man, you operate. It's like, shit, you crazy smooth. You all that, and then some. Ain't no doubt.

You the man all the time, 24-7! You the man when you walk it, and you the man when you talk it. You the man when you play it, and you the man when you say it.

Yo, Darren, listen up and listen real good. You know what? I'll tell you what: You the man. That's right—you it.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Let me break it down for you just one time. You got that fine-ass lady, don't you? That shorty is one fine-ass ride. And those clothes you wear. Damn! You be like Mr. Armani Gucci Versace or somethin' in those threads.

You be shakin' it, breakin' it and quakin' it... and that's no fakin it. And I ain't even up to your moves on the field yet. You like Shaq and Penny and Michael all rolled into one out there. Slam dunkin' with a quickness!

Ain't no two ways about it, and ain't nobody doubt it. My man!

CPC and MuthaFuckin TG's

In honor of Anytime D.H., Bambino, both Bobby Browns, (outfield, and 3rd base, neither of which introduced Whitney Houston's Tonsils to the sweet taste of dragons tail), one handed pitchers, and a locally renowned third basemen turned manager by the name of my penis.

Dude, It Looks Like Your Dick Ate A Q-Tip!

So a recent study came out, showing 1-4 teenage girls has some sort of sexually transmitted disease.  Kind of makes you want to bag it up before you sleep with the friend, of a friend, of a friend, of some girl you met yesterday, huh? Not me, personally i like those odds, that's really only 25 out of 100 :)

Thanks You Netherlands

Since I'm receiving an overwhelming response from the people of Holland, The Netherlands, and Finland.  I thought I'd show them a little love.  Here is your main man's Ruud Van Nistelrooy.  He's cool footballer extraordinaire.

R. Express

...........

If They Treated Every Sport Like They Treated Baseball...

A secret investigation was launched into the recent suspicious activity involved in by the Special Olympics.  The main objective was to discover how there were so many "comspeditors" labeled "winners."  Sometimes, for sub par performance.

"I don't think there's anything 'winning' or 'special' about finishing in eighth or ninth place," chief investigator Harlan Brundage said. "Do these kids think they're winners just because they tried? Just because they gave it their all? Well, let me tell you, trying doesn't make you a winner. Coming in first does." 

An estimated 15,000 athletes participated in the Special Olympics this year, and, according to Special Olympics awards records, every one of them was declared a "winner."

According to Brundage, all Special Olympians will be stripped of their medals and held for questioning, pending a thorough investigation. Several Special Olympics officials and judges are also being detained.

Evidence of the massive scandal first came to light June 17, during a Special Olympics competition in Milpitas, CA. Marcy Simms, a 27-year-old gymnastics contestant, was declared a winner in the individual competition, despite falling off the two-foot-wide balance beam some 11 times and failing to execute even a single cartwheel.

Upon finishing the routine, Simms raised her arms above her head and cheered in triumph. Her parents then raced over to hug and kiss her, sharing in their daughter's "victory."

"When we saw Marcy celebrating, we were immediately suspicious of corruption," Brundage said. "Her routine was terrible—what could she possibly have been so happy about?"

Gymnastics judge Olga Rublovskya, a bronze medalist at the 1976 Montreal Olympics, agreed.

"I would have to give this performance of Marcy's a 0.0," Rublovskya said. "The routine was not very good at all."

The scope of the scandal widened at this year's Harwich, MA Special Olympics, where Jeff Coombs, 32, was awarded a medal in the 40-yard dash competition despite coming in fifteenth out of 15 competitors.

Following the race, an investigator asked Coombs if he realized how poorly he fared, to which Coombs replied, "I'm special! I'm a winner!"

When the investigator countered that Coombs was neither special nor a winner, but rather an exceptional failure who finished in dead last place, Coombs vehemently maintained his specialness.

"These are substandard athletes at best," Brundage said. "Why they are competing in something called the Olympics is a question we must answered. I promise a full investigation."

The scandal has also resulted in a loss of revenue for the Special Olympics Committee. Reebok and Toshiba, the event's two largest sponsors, have announced they are pulling out, and Pepsi is expected to follow.

"It is in Reebok's best interest at this time to put our money behind the 2010 China Games, where the athletes have proven their ability to run, jump and catch," said Marvin Balsam, Reebok Director of Marketing, explaining his company's decision to shift $158 million from the Special Olympics to the Chinese Games. "Until we see more physical skill from these Special Olym-pians, we have no choice but to spend our sponsorship dollars elsewhere."

So A Guy Walks Into A Bush...I Mean Bush....I Mean Bar

First of all, how stoned do you have to be when your child is born to name them sativa.  I am a connoisseur of sorts, but would never dream of naming my child after a controlled substance.

Second, holy shit!!! has this girl been locked in a weird smut closet for the past 10 years.  

Someone needs to do something with that squirrel pelt she has strapped to her vag.  Tried and true, the Bucket Shop Vagina Maintenance program does not work.

Meta...

Old Feller

The Green Bay Packers addressed questions concerning the current status, future plans, and whereabouts of recently retired quarterback Brett Favre by announcing Monday that they had sent him to the country to live on a beautiful farm with a very nice family.

"We know you loved Brett Favre, but he wasn't happy here. He couldn't stay here," Packers general manager Ted Thompson told hundreds of quiet but tear-streaked Packer fans assembled at the televised Lambeau Field press conference. "And he loved you, too—he loved you very much indeed—but he needed to go someplace where he could run and jump and throw his favorite football around. And he couldn't do that here anymore."

"So we took Brett out behind the Don Hutson practice facility last night, and we… Coach McCarthy and I, we… We gave him one last hug, and we said goodbye to him, and Brett went away forever," Thompson said, his voice breaking several times. "Those loud banging noises you heard were probably the truck backfiring. He went to the farm in a truck, you know."

Thompson then unveiled an artist's conception of Favre frolicking in the fields at the lovely farm, which he said was "a very, very nice place where they do not have winters or telephones" and "believe me, absolutely not Favre's farm in Hattiesburg, Mississippi."

"Don't be sad," Packer head coach Mike McCarthy told fans, many of whom began crying audibly, shaking their heads, or turning away at the news. "You should be happy for Brett. He is in a much better place now. He has many of your other favorite Packers, really great Packers like Reggie White and Ray Nitschke and Max McGee, to keep him company. And he even has a coach—Vince Lombardi is on that farm, too."

Although Packers officials gave no specific details of the farm, its location, or the family who will now take care of Favre, Thompson confirmed that it is "far, far away, beyond the football fields we know, in a very happy place where Brett will never be cold or get sacked ever again."

"There are no winters there, and no injuries, and no interceptions, and even though people will play football with Brett all day, they all have so much fun that no one remembers who won or who lost," McCarthy added. "Brett loved Green Bay, and it is a nice place, but this farm is even nicer. It was just time for him to go there."

Although many fans were upset that Favre had to leave to go to the farm even more suddenly than he retired, most seemed to understand that their quarterback was old and tired and needed to rest.

Team officials gently but firmly refused all fan and media requests to visit Favre on the farm.

"Someday we'll all join him there," Thompson added, avoiding the eyes of fans and reporters while seeming to look past them at something far in the distance. "Someday. But not for a long, long time. Right now, just be happy for Brett. Wherever he is now, what he wants most is for you to be happy."

Thompson also confirmed that Favre's jersey was still available from the Packer Pro Shop and that as long as Favre had gone to the farm, the $1.6 million outstanding on Favre's contract would not count towards the salary cap and be returned to the team.

How Much Cocaine You Gotta Give A Girl To Get Her To Eat Shit?

Damn Joe

If you go to a Joe Rogan stand up show, and you think he says something stupid, just keep your mouth shut.

They Call Me Lee Roy Jenkems...

I usually take my jenkem in the morning, let me tell you there isn't anything better than hitting that balloon in the morning, sitting back and watching the sunrise over a cup of grape juice.  I love getting "urinated" it makes me feel like I can do anything, I am a king of all men, not to sound brash, but I believe I found immortality, it's name is Jenkem.

First:

Take one bottle, glass is preferred, to adequately let the Jenkemites ferment.

The next step is to pee in the bottle....I know what your thinking, I'm gonna have to pinch it, or I am gonna fill up the whole bottle, and I hate pinching it...it stings.  There is an easy way to get around this pesky little problem.  You can either: 1) buy the big gatorade with Michael Jordan's hand on the side of it, or do as I do, and pee over the tub, or outdoors, so you can pull the bottle out of the stream to get just the right amount of pee, somewhere around 5 oz.  

Step 3, is to poop in the bottle, again, a tough task, much more difficult than any of the other steps.  The best way to do this, I found is to just poop into a plastic bag (much easier to center the butt-hole over), then use a $1 bill to grab it out.  I know, I know: "This was supposed to be a free high, what gives??"

Don't worry, if you think about how much a bag of Amsterdam's Finest, Cannabis Cup Winning Bud, a 22oz Bud Ice, or a bag of blow and a mail order bride cost.  You're getting out cheap.  Also, you can leave the dollar out on the sidewalk, and watch people get shit on their hands afterwards, a true jenkemeister past time.

After you poop in the bottle, put a balloon over the neck of the jar, and let it sit in the sun for a few days, it should look something like this:

After that, it's just a matter of watching your sun pee magically ferment.  The Jenkemites go to work, creating a delicious intoxicating gas known as Jenkem.  Breathe in and enjoy :)

Gotcha!!

Following another impressive simulated game on Monday, enigmatic but lovable Mets clubhouse joker Pedro Martinez informed reporters that he was "just kidding" about his arm injury, rotator-cuff surgery, and yearlong stint on the DL, playfully shrugging his shoulders and grinning in a fashion Mets officials are calling "vintage Pedro." "Boy, are our faces red," said Mets GM Omar Minaya, chuckling and shaking his head at the stunt, perhaps Martinez's craziest to date and one which has cost the team an estimated $16 million. "I can't believe we fell for the old 'torn rotator cuff' gag. Oh, Pedro. What will he think of next?" Mets manager Willie Randolph is planning to play a retaliatory prank on Martinez, which involves leaving him in past the sixth inning of a crucial playoff game.

Sorry I Was Late....Got Caught In Some PooNani

Disgraced New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer said Thursday he is resigning his post, effective Friday, but he vowed to “keep living it up with the whores.”

Spitzer, the former Wall Street corruption buster known for preaching ethical responsibility, has been accused of meeting a high-priced prostitute last month in a Washington, D.C., hotel.

He apologized to his family and the public on Tuesday for failing “to live up to the standard I expected of myself.” But with his political career squarely in the shitter, Spitzer told reporters Thursday that he plans to salvage the part of his life that hasn’t been tarnished by the scandal.

“I challenge any of these young ladies to say ‘Big E’ didn’t live up to their standards in the sack,” Spitzer said.

The Democrat, known as the “Sheriff of Wall Street” during two terms as attorney general, again apologized to his wife, Silda, and three teenage daughters for the embarrassment the situation has brought on them. But he also noted he has “no chance in hell of getting elected sanitation director at this point, so what the fuck?”

A 47-page affidavit supporting the charges against Spitzer — identified as “Client 9,” according to a source — said Temeka Rachelle Lewis talked with him and a prostitute named “Kristen” about a Feb. 13 meeting. (“More like ‘Client 69,’” Spitzer said, making several rapid gestures with his pelvic region.) Lewis and Client 9 spoke about payment of as much as $4,300, which would include credit for future dates.

“Let’s be honest, though,” Spitzer said with a creepy grin. “After one time, these bitches would be paying me.”

One of the bitches who previously had sex with Spitzer said there’s “no way” she would pay him, categorizing him as a “premature ejaculator” who “usually starts crying because he just blew 5 Gs for 30 seconds of awkward, marsupial-like intercourse.”

I'd hit it too, go get em tiger

Private Poop Party

True Story, that's the best part.

Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years — so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police.

It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat, said Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple. The woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

Police declined to release the couple's names, but the boyfriend, Kory McFarren, agreed to be interviewed Wednesday by The Associated Press. He identified his girlfriend as Pam Babcock.

McFarren, 36, told investigators he took Babcock food and water and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

McFarren told the AP that he wasn't to blame, and that it was solely Babcock's choice to remain in the bathroom.

"She is an adult; she made her own decision. It was my fault I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it," McFarren said.

Although authorities said they think Babcock was in the bathroom for two years, McFarren said he wasn't certain how long she stayed there. He said she had a phobia about leaving the room because of childhood beatings.

"It just kind of happened one day. She went in and had been in there a little while, the next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay — like it was a safe place for her," McFarren said.

But McFarren said Babcock moved around in the bathroom during that time, bathed and changed into the clothes he brought her. He said they conversed and had an otherwise normal relationship — except that it all happened in the bathroom.

McFarren, who works at an antique store, said he has been taking care of Babcock for the 16 years they have lived together.

McFarren called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said.

Police found Babcock clothed and sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked as if they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

McFarren said that his girlfriend has an infection in her legs that has damaged her nerves, and that she has no feeling in her legs. She may wind up in a wheelchair, he said.

Authorities said they did not know whether she was mentally or physically disabled.

The case has been the buzz of Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."